British superheroes vs American superheroes (fictional)

Who doesn’t love a superhero story! The super big action, the super big adventure, the super mega big explosions. Ever notice how superhero stories almost always happen in America, and most superheroes are American. Maybe because America is a super big. I must admit I’ve never noticed, I’m too busy enjoying the super big explosions. My friend Richard pointed out the lack of British superheroes and British settings so with that in mind I’ve put together a selection of British vs American super skilled and super powered characters.

Alien hero – 
The Doctor vs Thor

These two spacemen have adopted Earth as their second home and spend most of their time defending us Earthlings from Alien invasions.

Practically immortal the Doctor has rejuvenated 11 times and is a seriously complex character. Armed with a sonic screwdriver and several lifetimes of experience he’s a handy guy to have around in a crisis.  Just don’t expect to live through it. He’s great at saving humanity but has a bit of trouble when it comes to individuals.

Thor is the Asgardian god of thunder and possesses the enchanted hammer Mjolnir. He can save everyone but will destroy most of New York in the process. Possibly immortal he not only battles aliens but gods, demons and ancient mythical creatures.

Favourite – Personally I prefer the Doctor, I may not survive but at least he will let me get in on the action.

In a fight – These two would battle each other till the end of eternity, occasionally joining forces to stop a super alien villian.

Superspy -James Bond vs Jason Bourne

Super suave and super skilled, these two bad boys are dangerous to be around, especially if you are female!

James Bond, licence to kill, everything he does is for Queen and Country. He has an arsenal of super spy gadgets to save the Commonwealth, and occasionally America. Favourite weapon – Walther PPK, favourite car- Aston Martin, favourite drink – Martini shaken not stirred. This super suave spy lacks one thing, a conscious.

Jason Bourne doesn’t have a super spy car, a super spy weapon, a super spy job or even his memory! He does have a serious set of super skills. He doesn’t need a gun or even a knife, he can kill you with a tea towel. He has got a few psychological issues like a super severe conscious, not an ideal trait for a professional super assassin spy.

Favourite -This is a tough one. How can a girl choose? Either way I will probably end up dead!

In a fight – Jason would beat James after a long hard fight, but he would feel really bad about it afterwards.

Feral hero -Tarzan vs Wolverine

Wild, ferocious, barely civilised, these two untameable fighters are a force to be reckoned with.

Tarzan was created by an American writer, he was born and raised in Africa, and French is the first language he learned to speak, but he is an English Lord so I’ve put him on team Britain. His keen senses and formidable physique have been perfectly adapted to life in a hostile African jungle. He can snap the neck of a bull ape as easily as a twig. Add his ability to talk to animals and a black cruel humour, the local natives fear him believing he is a jungle demon or god. No human could survive alone in the darkest depths of Africa.

James Logan aka Wolverine is a mutant with the ability to regenerate giving him extended longevity. Armed with super human senses, super agility, and a super grumpy personality his retractable claws and entire skeleton was plated with adamantium by a secret goverment agency turning him into Weapon X. He’s the best there is at what he does, but what he does best isn’t very nice.

Favourite – Another tough one. I love them both.

In a fight – Wolverine would win, but only because of his regenerative powers.

Armoured hero – Lancelot vs Iron Man

The old school and the next generation knight in shining armour. These two have more in common then you’d think.

Tony Stark is Iron Man. Take away the suit and what is he. Genius, playboy, billionaire, philanthropist. 

Sir Lancelot, knight of camelot, heir to the fairy kingdom ruled by the Lady of the Lake, champion of the sword and lance, lover of Queen Guinevere (among others). Take away the armour and what is he? Genius, playboy, billionaire, philanthropist. 

Favourite – Personally I’ve never liked Lancelot and I’m not to keen on Iron Man either. 

In a fight – No contest, Iron Man will turn Lancelot into a tin of soup. 

Vigilante hero – Robin Hood vs Batman

When the system fails, when injustice rules supreme, a hero will step forward and take matters into his own hands, righting wrongs and fighting for the good of the people.

Bruce Wayne aka Batman, traumatized by the death of his parents he fights the crime lords ruling Gotham City. Aided by his trusted butler Alfred and an inexhaustible amount of money to build a batcave and lots of high tech equipment, he strikes fears into ordinary criminals. (Cue cool super villians). But no matter how many criminals he defeats he still finds no peace.

Robin Hood, expert bowman, master of disguise, rebel, and thief. He battled the most despicable organisation of all time, the Tax Man. Robbing from the rich and giving to the poor with his merry band of men, life in Sherwood Forest is one long party. Enter the dastardly villainous Sheriff of Nottingham.

Favourite – Robin Hood. I love archery, I love forests, I hate paying tax. I would love to be one of his merry men.

 In a fight – I don’t think these two would ever find a reason to fight each other. 

Super Intellect Hero – Sherlock Holmes vs Professer X

With brains the size of a small planet no one can match these super masterminds.

Professor Charles Xavier, the worlds most powerful psychic mutant. He can read your deepest thoughts, manipulate your memories and control your mind. But he only uses his powers for good and to promote peace.

Sherlock Holmes, super slueth and the worlds greatest consulting detective. His powers of deduction are superior in everyway. He doesn’t need psychic powers to manipulate your brain, he uses psychology and your own weaknesses against you.

 Favourite – Sherlock Holmes. According to his philosophy anyone can learn how to harness and use their powers of deductive reasoning.

In a fight – This will be a battle of the mind. A game of chess ending in stalemate. 

Super female hero – Lara Croft vs Wonder Woman.

Every now and then someone realises the lack of leading female characters and creates a super woman. Sometimes they don’t get it quite right. 

Wonder Woman, the Amazonian princess who leaves Paradise Island to save humanity from themselves. Armed with a variety of mystical weapons like the Lasso of Truth, Indestructible Bracelets and a telepathic Tiara she kicks butt and looks great doing it. Super athletic, super strong, and super smart Wonder Woman was the first comic book female superhero. My only problem is her costume, its strapless. That bodice would have to be strapped around her so tight to stay up she wouldn’t be able to breathe let alone fight!

 (I was struggling to find a British counterpart, thanks to my nephew for suggesting Lara.)

Lara Croft has been reinvented a few times during her comparatively short existence. Created for a video game she is a beautiful, intelligent, and athletic archaeologist adventurer. Her backstory has changed a few times but she is generally held to be a member of the British aristocracy. In the first game version her boobs were impossibly big but she was wearing appropriate clothes for digging around in dusty old tombs and fighting whatever supernatural disaster she unleashed. The latest edition of the Tomb Raider games see Lara Croft with more realistic dimensions. Her favourite choice of weapon is two pistols. She did pinch Thors hammer once too.

Favourite – I’ve never played any Tomb Raider games or seen the films. I watched a 1980s Wonder Woman film and wasn’t impressed. After reading up some more about the creative process behind these two super women I have altered my opinion slightly but I still don’t know either well enough to choose a favourite. 

In a fight – This would be one hell of a cat fight. Lara would start it, Wonder Woman would finish it, and an uneasy truce would follow.

Which are your favourites and who do you think would win head to head.

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More Tea Vicar?

I’ve noticed a disturbing fact about the complimentary tea making facilities in hotels in Britain. The cheaper the room the more tea bags they give you. 

When I say cheap I don’t mean the grotty sort with peeling paper, creaking beds and suspicious hotel clerks ( not that I’ve stayed in the sort so I’m not sure what the tea making facilities are like). I mean budget hotels like Premier inn as opposed to higher end like the Marriott. I am currently sipping Earl Grey tea while in bed staying at the Hyatt London. I’m drinking Earl Grey because there is no Breakfast tea left and no milk.

Personally I expect to find in my complimentary drink facilities as standard a cup for every person staying in the room, two English breakfast teabags per person, two coffee sachets per person, a small selection of herbal/other teas/decaf, sufficent milk. On occasions my expections have been surpassed and there has been double this amount plus biccies. I usually find this happens in individually run establishments. My room at the Hyatt has been booked for three people, there are only two cups, three breakfast tea, one Earl grey, two coffee sachets, 4 milk. I went to the desk and they happily gave me more but you would think tea was on rations as I only recieved an extra two English Breakfast and two Earl Grey. I stayed at a Premier inn recently and when I ask for more tea and milk the receptionist gave me a bag full.

So what conclusions can I draw from this. Do the well off drink less tea and more alcohol perhaps? Is it the type of staff they employ, although I’ve never noticed a difference, they are all friendly and professional. Maybe the higher end hotels have blown all their budgets on fancy toiletries and artful decor. Maybe they can’t afford to buy tea, poor souls. 

Either way I must satisfy myself with Earl Grey as I can’t be bothered to slink down to the desk in my pjs and ask for more and I haven’t the patience to wait for housekeeping to fetch me some.

P.S. The most unusual complimentary beverage I have ever found in a hotel was a decanter of fine cream sherry in a independent hotel in Eire. 

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Goodbye 2016

Its been a strange year with lots of highs and lows both globally and on a personal level. It certainly hasn’t gone to plan! 

I’m not going to berate myself for my failures or congratulate myself on my successes, what’s past is past. Instead I will reflect on what 2016 has taught me and the lessons I will take with me into 2017.

1. My parents are the most important people in the world to me. The rest of my family come a close second.

2. I’m  proud of my roots and my heritage.

3. Take chances when I want to not when other people tell me to. Ultimately it’s my life not theirs.

4. I can’t do everything so I should stop trying.

5. Sleep is important. So are coffee breaks

6. Just because someone else isn’t doing the job as quickly or as perfectly as I can doesn’t give me the right to take over!

7. Keep in touch with friends.

8. Always send out Christmas cards, even if it’s just to let people know you’re still alive.

9. Memories are more important then money. 

10. I live beyond my means and I cannot live within them so I should stop worrying about it.

11. A dining table is the most civilised item a person can own.

12. Alcohol is my enemy, green tea is my friend. (Beginnings of rheumatoid arthritis)

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Review of Tarzan of the Apes and The return of Tarzan by Edgar Rice Burroughs

Many people are more familiar with Disneys animated version of Tarzan, and the original tv series staring Johnny Weissmuller with his iconic jungle call. If they read the book they would be in for a surprise. 

The two books follow the life of John Clayton, named Tarzan by the apes who adopt him as a baby, through his childhood in the jungle and his journey to becoming a ‘civilised’ man. Burroughs does a credible job in the first book ‘Tarzan of the Apes’ making a hostile jungle existence believable and explaining some of the nagging questions that have dogged me about Tarzan. The main one being why he has no beard. I enjoyed the descriptions of the African jungle, the beauty and the danger. It truly is a savage garden. Tarzans jungle existence is brutal and while Burroughs writing isn’t as graphic as some of todays authors, he portrays the darker sides of humanity effectively. Cannibalism, torture, murder, betrayal, and greed are ever present in both books but Burroughs balances out these vices with plenty of virtues, honour, self sacrifice, friendship and love which makes the whole a pleasent read and not depressing.

The second book ‘The Return of Tarzan’ is more like a series of short stories. If you read it like a periodical once a month then it’s probably very exciting.  Read all at once and it gets repetative. 

Lets remember these books are pulp fiction from the 1910s. Lock your political correctness in a cupboard, put your brain in neutral, and enjoy an adventure from a bygone era where men were either heroes or cowards and women spent their time fainting or falling into danger!

Burroughs novels are full of evocative descriptions of the African continent, fast paced action and adventure, and provide a fascinating insight into social attitudes during the beginning of the 20th century.

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Shakespeare Lives

Its 400th anniversary of Shakespeare’s death, the worlds greatest bard. Does he need an introduction? No. Too celebrate his literary legacy I have picked some of my favourite Shakespeare moments.

1967 film Taming of the Shrew with Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton.

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It was the first screen adaptation of Shakespeare I watched other then those inflicted on me at school. My English teacher taught me to understand Shakespeare but Elizabeth and Richard let me appreciate his genius.

Macbeth by William Shakespeare

My first introduction to Shakespeare. It was long, it was tedious and I couldn’t understand a word. Morning break couldn’t come soon enough. I’m listening to an audio version of Macbeth again for the first time and I realise it wasn’t the plays fault. It was my tedious English teacher and her long explanations.

Theatrical dress worn by Ellen Terry as Lady Macbeth

I love this dress and hopefully will see it one day. It was designed by Alice Comyns-Carr and made in crochet by Ada Nettleship using a soft green wool and blue tinsel yarn from Bohemia to create an effect similar to chain mail. It was embroidered with gold and decorated with 1,000 iridescent wings from the green jewel beetle, Sternocera aequisignata. The dress was restored in a two-year project that began in 2009 when £50,000 had been raised to pay for the work. In 2011, after 1,300 hours of conservation work and a cost of £110,000, it was placed on display in Ellen Terry’s home, Smallhythe Place, near Tenterden in Kent.

Ten Things I Hate about You 1999 film

Modern adaptation of Taming of the Shrew with Heath Ledger and Julia Styles. Favourite part; when Heath Ledger sings ‘you’re just too good to be true’, Daryl Mitchell quoting/rapping a Shakespeare sonnet.

Baz Lurhmann’s Romeo + Juliet 1996 film

Brilliant modern version brings Shakespeare up to date. Guns replace swords, the violence surrounding the doomed lovers is ever present and it has an epic music score. Favourite song is ‘I’m kissing you’ by Des’ree.

Shakespeare’s Animated Tales

These short animations are definitely not Disney. Beautiful compiled, artfully created, these bite size chunks of Shakespeare’s best plays use cel animation, paint on glass and stop motion puppet animation. Sometimes funny, sometimes brutal, sometimes gory, but always Shakespeare. 

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The Martian by Andy Weir- book review

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I enjoyed this book. It was an easy book to read. I don’t read sci-fi, they can get a bit too ‘technicy’ and I get lost among the photons and thermal anodes instead of getting lost in the story. With this book I was on Mars.

The Martian is not just a sci-fi novel, its also an adventure. Mark Watney, a NASA astronaut, is presumed dead by his crew mates and abandoned on Mars. With limited food, water, and life support systems he has to survive until the next Mars mission which is 3 years away. It sounds implausible. NASA doesn’t declare a astronaut dead without good cause only to for him to be resurrected, even I know that, but the author creates a plausible explanation and keeps the science simple. How accurate it was I don’t know, I’m a writer not a scientist.

The whole story is told through log entry’s, interviews, snippets of conversations and messages. I like this style of writing. Some people don’t. There’s not much room for lengthy descriptions or in depth character back stories but I still like it. I can read it in short bursts without losing my place or having to read to the end of a chapter. Great if you have a busy week and only 10 minutes to spare.

The author keeps the pace up throughout the novel as one problem after another crops up for our hero Mark Watney. I didn’t know if he was going to survive. I really wanted him to live, he’s a funny guy. His humour and optimism in the face of dire situations made him likable and brought him to life. I wish I could say the same for the other characters in the book, I think the author divested everything he had into his main character. The characters at mission control all sounded the same and were interchangeable. Without name tags I had no idea who was who. Mark Watneys crew mates were marginally better but I couldn’t connect to them, maybe because they didn’t get much ‘page time’ till the end.

I did enjoy this book but I don’t think it would be one I would read again and again. Some books have hidden depths which emerge with each reading, I don’t think this is one of them. But that doesn’t stop it from being a good read. I’d give it 3.5 out of 5.

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Springs Alarm

Soft light caresses my eyelids
I stir, a deep sigh
Warmth kisses my cheek
I stretch, open my eyes
Music lifts my soul
Singing, a robin, a sparrow?
I rise, pull back the curtain
Sunlight floods the room

Misty dew caresses the green
Life stirs, deep under the earth
Warmth kisses the trees
Bark stretches, buds open
Bird music, blossom singing
Sap is rising, winters curtain is lifted
Life floods the garden

The alarm, mechanical tinkling
No need, I’m awake

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Travellers’ Times Online – Are you listening Mr Cameron? We are the Gypsies

This article struck a chord with me and rings so true. It is so much easier when dealing with other communities to hide my gypsy origins then deal with the inevitable racism. But hiding never solves the problem. If we are to fight racism we must fight for our rights as a race, which includes being recognised as a Gypsy/Traveller even if we don’t travel! It’s hard for race of people to recognise its racial identity when its constantly being stamped on, ridiculed and subjected to harsh criticism.

http://travellerstimes.org.uk/Blogs–Features/Are-you-Listening-Mr-Cameron.aspx

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The Magic of Disneyland Paris

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Sleeping Beautys Castle during Christmas Lumeire Show, Disneyland Paris

 

Disneyland is magic, I mean real magic, not orchestrated illusions, magic like when something wondrous happens, something out of the ordinary, something delightful, something magical.

I’ve returned from a Disneyland Paris New Year break spent with my problematic family. My family aren’t a problem, they just have problems. My mother was suffering from a throat infection as well as her usual ailments, my father was suffering from neglect as a result, my sister was dealing with a disgruntled fiancé, my other sister an harassed spouse, my nephew was depressed, my youngest niece moody, her cousin was troubled by her parents messy divorce, my other niece was feeling ‘uncomfortable’ whatever that means, and I was exhausted. Now for the magic.

It would be nice to say that as soon as we arrived in Disneyland Paris a transformation overcame us all and we were happier people but it wouldn’t be true. My mother was miserable due to the infection and wanted to go home, my father felt more neglected as we fussed around her, my sisters fiancé was more disgruntled because she was enjoying herself without him, my other sisters husband had an allergic reaction to a relaxing alcoholic drink he had consumed, my nephew was more depressed because his friends had decided to go out for New Year, my youngest niece threw a tantrum because she wanted to go on all the fast rides five times in a row, her cousin was ecstatic to be on holiday with us which I found disturbing, my other niece was still ‘uncomfortable’ (still not sure why), and I felt more exhausted then ever.

Day 2 and I knew action had to be taken. I had a quiet word with the children about how miserable their Granny and Grandad were, luckily they aren’t totally selfish. The girls took their Granny shopping, while my nephew and I took my father on some of the slower rides. My sisters phone ran out of battery so her fiancée was no longer in contact, my brother in law preferred the French coffee and had a non-allergic caffeine boost, and the children discovered the enjoyment of pleasing other people.

At the end of day 2 I was approached by a smiling woman who thrust a slip of paper into my face, ‘We’ve had to leave early but this is still valid for another two days if you want it.’ I bemusedly took it and thanked her and she ran off. It was a weeks unlimited fast pass for four people. I excitedly took it to my family and we never saw the children again till tea time when they returned happy and content because they only waited 30 minutes for every ride including the new Ratatouille ride.

We had queued early that morning to get a timed fast pass ticket at 8pm for the Ratatouille ride. You have to be at the fast pass point early as demand often outstrips supply  and it’s almost impossible to get on the ride without one unless you want to queue for 3 hours. Its a brilliant ride but I’m not sure its worth waiting 3 hours for if you can get a fast pass. Thanks to the generous woman we had 5 spare fastpass tickets, my sister spotted a young couple with three small children who were clearly debating whether to wait the 3 hours or not. Snatching the spare passes out of my hands she ran to the couple and with lots of gestures (they didn’t speak English) forced the tickets into the young womans hand. It took them a while to realise the importance of the five tickets, when they did the expression on their faces made the whole day feel twice as enjoyable.

So we left Disney with happy memories again. My mothers throat infection was clearing up, my father felt appreciated, my sisters fiancée was still disgruntled but he couldn’t reach her on her phone, my other sisters spouse was feeling less harassed, my nephew was no longer depressed, my niece was too exhausted to be moody, her cousin had spent a happy week with her extended family, my other niece was still ‘uncomfortable’ (I think its the new ’embarrassed’), and I was still exhausted but in good way. Everyone decided its was the best holiday in ages and were planning the next family trip.

And that’s the magic of Disney. Giving. Its not just fast rides and merchandise. Everything is done with care and attention, more so then any other amusement park I’ve visited. And the ‘giving’ rubs off on the visitors. I’ve never seen an unhappy employee at Disney, and if there’s a problem they try everything possible to fix it. It’s almost scary how happy they are, maybe its the constant smell of candyfloss and popcorn in the air. Even ‘backstage’. We had the misfortune of being on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride when it broke down and had to leave the ride via the service entrance. The sugary smell was ever present and I saw chattering and laughing Disney staff getting off a shuttlebus and bouncing into work. No one bounces into work unless you really enjoy it. It makes me wonder if there isn’t a darker side to Disney, a dungeon somewhere where unhappy workers are put until they’ve learned to behave and be happy again. Mmm…

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My Christmassy Destinations

Many people complain that Christmas starts earlier each year. I never complain. I love looking at the shops and buildings dressed up in tinsel and decorations while listening to Christmas songs. I’ve put together a list of my favourite and not so favourite Winter destinations I’ve visited over the years.

Disneyland Paris

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My favourite destination anytime of the year. During the Winter wonderland season they spray fake snow into the main street (not the cheap foam stuff) and everything seems to jingle. After a chocolate crepe and mulled wine in Fantasyland its time for a quick turn on the Mad Hatters Tea Cups.

Manchester Christmas Markets

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Best time to visit is late afternoon/ early evening. Its one of the best city Christmas markets in England with the right mix of traditional German stalls, local artisans, unique gift stalls and a variety of regional, international and seasonal food and drink stalls. Make sure you try the roasted chestnuts (St Annes Square) and a mug of mulled wine with cognac (St Anne’s Square for ambience, King Street for taste).

Vienna Austria

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I visited Vienna a few years ago in early December. Two words. Bloody freezing. I would advise taking extra socks, thermal underwear, big jumpers and a bigger overcoat! But don’t let the cold put you off, Vienna is a beautiful city, especially when its frosted in ice and snow. My favourite bits, every morning the church bells of the cathedral would wake me, room service delivered a complimentary hot chocolate to your room and the maid left a chocolate on your pillow after cleaning. The royal palace is beautiful and a must see. The Christmas market is traditional and delightful, and on every street corner there is a hut selling Gluhwien. Austrian mulled wine is not like anything I’ve ever tasted, one very small serving nearly knocked me off my feet.

Winter Wonderland Hyde Park

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I met friends here a couple of years ago and was suffering from a tremendous head cold. It was quite a warm day and dry so I risked the trip and thoroughly enjoyed myself. The Christmas market was small, the food and drink stalls plentyful and the fairground rides really good fun. After partaking if several hot spiced orange juice with whisky (for medicinal purposes) I went on every ride twice. Best was the downhill tabogins, the merrygoround and the great wheel. The great wheel moves slowly, is best done in daylight for the view and isn’t for anyone with a fear of heights.

Winter Hill and Lever Park Lancashire

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When it snows the only place to take your sledge/old tyre/black bin liner/upturned old car bonnet/tea tray is up Winter Hill. There’s a pretty clear slope at the foot of the hill in Lever Park where you can get some speed up before crashing into a sheep. Afterwards a quick visit to the pub for a warming brandy to nurse your cuts, bruises, and breaks is a lot more fun then A&E.

Bath Christmas Market

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This year we met up with friends at Bath Christmas Market. Bath is a beautiful city and I’m planning to go back in the summer. Unfortunately I did not like the market, it was huge but all the stalls were very much the same. Its was very busy with tourists as well as shoppers, even at 6pm. I ambled from one stall to another sampling cheeses, nuts, liquors and ciders ( I’m noticing a pattern in my activities at my winter destinations) but nothing tickled my fancy. My friends enjoyed the market so it may have been me. I thought it lacked atmosphere.

Lytham Fylde Coast

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I love seaside towns. I even like them in winter, the grey skies, the grey sea, the wild winds and waves all have a magic of their own. Lytham is one of the few seaside towns which doesn’t look dismal in winter. The mix of independent shops and charity shops means I always find a bargain. Stop off at the Lytham Kitchen for hot chocolate fudge cake with ice cream. The mulled wine is okay but a little sweet for me.

Do you have favourite winter destinations? Have you been to any of mine?

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